Better By Association and Long Term Goal Setting

I must confess I don't understand the thinking of some people when it comes to how they interact with others. We all know that not every experience we may have will be positive, some will be very uncomfortable, and while we go through the discomfort of these experiences, those of us who have lived through many uncomfortable experiences have learnt, to look for the lesson in our discomfort.

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My first experience with internet forums was quite pleasant.I was a complete nobody from a little Caribbean island that none of them had heard about until I joined their hallowed group.But there was always some bitchy, yacky, unhappy person who tried to impose their negative 'I know all about it' attitude and opinions on the group; and being me, meant  the bitchy yack wasn't going to get away with it.

I have kinda kept away from forums and focussed on building my Corporate Communications, Public Service and Government Relations consultancy and writing my novels. In the process I had the pleasure of meeting and speaking to Nobel Laureates, living icons and best selling authors, always loving that none of these people have this yacky bitchy 'I know it all attitude'.

My first novel was released in the last quarter of 2009. I purposely left it alone to see how it would sell. I continue to be blown away by the figures. However recently I decided to use a different avenue to encourage interest and sales of my other titles. I relaunched the novel on Facebook and just for the heck of it, I joined a forum there, not necessarily to promote my novel, but to get a general idea of  how other writers think through the process of writing.

That forum has been education on so many levels and I cannot pay for the lessons I'm learning there.
There is one member in particular who made the most startling revelation, theorizing that 

1) by 'friending' high profiled writers (on Facebook of all places) she ups her standard of writing, 

2) by belonging to a large community of writers (9,000 on Yahoo)  gives her the authority to pontificate about the process of writing and publishing.

The first thought that came to my mind when I read that post was, "You can put Daffy Duck on a team with Garfield Sobers, Brian Lara, Sachin Tendulkar, Don Bradman, Vivian Richards, Ian Botham and six more of the greatest cricketers (if you aren't familar with those names try your best baseball players) to ever grace the game, but Daffy can't bat for shit and he can train 'till Shiloh comes', if he is NOT of their caliber no amount of association will put him in that grouping. But he can certainly try and also dream about it.

Yes, better by association works, if you are a member of a team; but when you are involved in a  creative enterprise 'better by association' only goes so far and cannot be wholly applied  because somewhere in that process you will loose your individualism, and in the case of writing, the unique ability that makes your readers read your work. 

Even if  you say to me 'I'm being mentored by XYZ best selling novelist', I can understand to some extent that the Best selling author is helping you improve YOUR writing. Harold Robbins was an excellent and prolific writer, yet persons whom he mentored or who associated with him could not make the grade; neither could Rosamunde Pilcher's offspring! If we apply the rationale expressed, they should be superb writers by association, but  none have transcended to NYT list elite.

It will be better if we all post as colleagues and not as 'I know it and you don't', then no one will be forced to challenge blanket statements posted as fact. We know there are people who have issues full-filling long term goals and therefore don't commit to anything like that; no problem they are not  alone in that arena. 

But DO NOT presume to express your opinion as generalized statement. Neither your years of experience nor your membership to large forums, gives you any authority to so do. There are  millions of books published which are silent testimony to long term planning and accomplished achievable goals by millions of authors. I make long term goals and I have NO problem achieving them.

Finally, it's a forum and we all have a contribution to make (including you), but I'm not going to pretend that I can't read, don't see or I misinterpreted your comment; especially if you continue to spout this load a crap and get your knickers or tongs suck in your ass because we disagree. 

I haven't factored in your threatened departure (posted on the forum, of course, like some 1950's drama queen) because we 'offended' you. How dare we challenge your opinions? In any society behaviour like that is indicative of a serious personality problem, and in governance we have a word for it!

Just wondering  is James Frey on your Facebook friends list?